Three Little Words

Ashley’s yearning for a mother’s love is one of the book’s key themes. In the Preface, she explains that she has “had more than a dozen so-called mothers in my life” (vii), but for much of the book, her yearning is directed solely toward her biological mother, Lorraine. This single-minded focus adds to her misery, as Lorraine is unreliable and regularly disappoints Ashley. To make matters worse, she is jealous of Ashley’s love and insists “‘I’m your only mother’” (vii), demanding of Ashley, “‘You’re not calling anyone else “Mama,” are you?’” (55). This reinforces Ashley’s belief that she cannot find the love she craves from another source. Even when Ashley does experience maternal love from other mother figures, she is unable to accept or return it. For example, although Luke quickly takes to calling their grandfather’s partner, Adele, “mama,” Ashley refuses to do so. Throughout much of her childhood, she wishes only to be reunited with Lorraine, ignoring “her broken promises and pretend[ing] to be unaware of elapsed time” (57) in order to excuse her regular disappointments. This begins to only shift when her Guardian ad Litem, Mary Miller, asks lawyers “to begin termination proceedings for Dusty Grover’s rights to Luke and my mother’s rights to me” (118-119) and eventually tells Ashley that she will never live with her mother because “‘she can’t take care of you’” (126).